Just a quick recap on my life in 2011.

January to March

Internship in 988FM. A turning point in my life where I actually work in a broadcast company as a trainee. I had great colleagues, seniors and juniors, I learnt from experienced DJ’s and Happy Cruiser’s friends, I had fun, I learnt to be independent in big city. Special thanks to Chansey Khaw from the first day in UKM until the last day in 988! You rocks! Thanks to Connie Lim for the accommodation and care, and to all colleagues in 988! 988, 最好听！！！(P/S: Sorry Caryn, Hui Imm, Yong Jie and Ken for not having a group photo with you guys.)

Followed by Hong Kong/GuangZhou trip in the middle of March. Photos can be found in the following link:

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150125418599003.290936.555924002&type=1

April to May, officially started my shake leg life and unofficially started my gym life with Cha Long. Nasi Kandar in the midnight wahaha! Epic~

End of May until September, I spent my time in Penang Straits Quay, Travis Hegel. Nice time? I guess so. Berlin Bier House, Subway, Fettes Park and traffic jam has become part of my life. Special thanks to Yvonne and Moon!

Beginning of September, Hatyai trip with Eu Jin, Meigi, Wei Chian and Jing Wei. If I have to use a word to describe the experience, I would use FUN! We ate, we drank, we watched (hiak hiak hiak), we shopped, we prayed, and we experienced anything adult can experience. Haha. Dare, wild but fun!

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150295958139003.348034.555924002&type=3

September, another turning point of my life, graduation. Degree graduation, once in a lifetime, will never repeat for second time in my lifetime. I can never enjoy the privileges as a student, no more PT life, no more mamak-after-study life, no more sing-k-after-class life. It’s time to grow up and face the reality world and earn some RM. Graduation photos can be viewed here: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150329188839003.354890.555924002&type=3

After graduation, went to Klang and Pulau Ketam with Chye and Jason. What’s so miracle about a friendship is that sometimes you don’t have to meet in-person to know somebody. I cherish this friendship and hope both of them are doing well! 

October until December, officially started my first job after-grad. Education industry is a big market, and there’s prosperous prospective in the future. I’m blessed to have great bosses to help me, from totally zero to at least something after two months of working. Thanks Casey and Simone. I wish good health and great relationships to both of you.

November 2011, officially started my gym and yoga life, and had invested a big basket (is this the right word to describe) of protein powder. Hope to see some result in the future. =)

December 2011, went down for Pesta Tanglung UKM for stage drama, went to Straits Quay to watch contemporary dance by Foong Ming and Siew Ching, went down to KL for shopping and Christmas, and in Penang for New Year’s eve.

I made 2 wishes last year. And I only successfully made half out of two came true. At least I entered gym finally and hope to have a better body shape in the future. At least I don’t regret ended my 2011 in single, although I am envious of those in relationship. And I’m not prepared to step into a relationship at this moment. Time will come in future. I better keep on upgrading myself first before any attachment made. =)

Wishes for 2012, hmm, a few wishes in my mind, but out of the wishes, I hope that if 2012 is the end of the world, I can die together with everyone, don’t leave me alone in this world. Haha…

Set a target, find a way, make a move, and achieve a dream!! Happy New Year everyone! Hope 2012 treats you well!!! Feel free to kacau me anytime, either in person, SMS, phone calls, or Facebook chat! :)

工作了，

马来女生应征了，

老板请了，

开始做part-time了，

开始认识了，

有说有笑了，

开始认识了，

开始相信了，

没有戒心了，

钱，被偷了，

信任，不再了，

背叛，涌现了，

友情，没得谈了，

从此，不同了…

是我太单纯，

是我太愚笨，

是我削下了防备，

是，是我始终相信人，

人的信任，人的真诚，人的纯！

原谅你了，

因为我相信总有一天你会醒悟知错的！

我开心了，

因为你只是我那么多朋友里面不值得留恋着信念的唯一一个！

Saw a friend posted an article that he didn’t have guts (or balls XD) to express his feelings regarding how he fight for his future besides expectations about his future from people around him. Who am I to give him advices since I am not courages to face what’s hiding inside all these while. Take a look at this.

I’ve never tell anyone the reasons I joined so many performances, from choirs to drama, then to dance. I enjoy to be on stage, I enjoy to get attractions, cheers, applauses and that’s why I chose to study mass communication, hoping that one day able to enter the entertainment industry. I dare to dream, but I never dare to face it, not even dare to believe that it might come true. Everytime watching videos of Alexandra Burke and Kelly Clarkson’s debut video makes me wanna cry. Besides envying their courages to face the world and talents they possessed, the supports from people surrounding were too important to be missed. I wish I have the talents and the recognitions to move on.

After 23 years old, finally I reach the stage where I need to make my own decision. Where to go? What to do? Who am I? What do I like? It seems that these are not easy to answer. Too many things I wanna try. I wanna enrich my life. I wanna meet a lot of different people. I wanna go around the world. Staying at office 9 to 5 made me almost died of bored. Being a Dai Lou bears a lot of responsibilities, and I know this is not the reason that holds me back. I will fight hard to get what I want. At least these must come true even the dream of being a performer do not realised. 

Yes, life is hard, and it will be harder in another 10 or 20 years time. Especially someone like me who has low possibility of getting married. Stay strong! Achieve your desire! Hope that one day when I look back at this post I would laugh at myself: why did I worry so much when I was 23? XD

Hope you can achieve what you wish to achieve too! Enjoy~

今天做工时太得空，心血来潮的就……献丑了

走在街上 看着人来人往

呆在家里 对着时间流浪

思绪 到处动荡

长大了 明白了

追逐梦想渐渐破灭了

肚子饿 口很渴

原来这并不能满足我的什么

我知道我不该这么继续呆着

总该做些什么的

有人说我准备好了

但我总是这么怀疑着

该怎么开始 从那里开始

如今我一无所知

要如何开始 与谁开始

我还要像这样呆到及时？

该醒了 别睡了 应该做个决定了

想好了 就走了 不再犹豫不决了

走在路上 依然看着人来人往

呆在家里 仍然跟时间比赛流浪

我的思绪 是否应该停止荡漾？

最近的我，好像越来越容易emo，无端端读到一篇文章也会emo，可能深感其受，可能生活缺乏颜色，可能还在CNY mood，可能Valentine即将到来，可能……

前几天读到一篇文章，述说关于金牛座的个性。对于利用星座/生肖来形容或剖解一个人的个性，我一向来都不是很认同，毕竟不可能把全世界的人都分为12个性格而已，大家都是不一样的！但，这篇文章讲述的，却非常符合我的性格！待我来慢慢解说！

“金牛座的人确实是寡言少语，不过，这并不代表没有思想、没有见解。恰恰相反，金牛座的人大多都是很有思想和内涵的，只是有时候他们不屑于无谓的争辩或是和无聊的人争辩，他们心里都很蔑视那些喳喳呼呼而有毫无水准的人。”

我确实是比较静的人，有时候不知道要说什么，深怕得罪人，当然与熟悉的人不一样啦！看到其他朋友跟大家很聊得来，感情很好时，我确实很羡慕；看到其他人很会说话时，很有思想时，我也很羡慕；大家开玩笑时，我只能在旁边陪笑。有时我也希望能够成为他们的一群，但，那不是我。讲笑话如果没人笑也没意义！只能说那是大家性格不同，相处方法不同吧！但，我决不是“串”，我可“串”不起，哈哈！

“通常选择的都是自娱自乐，做事比较低调不自信，其实心里都有一种一鸣惊人的欲望 ”

相当正确！做自己爽的事情，正是我的爱好！就像我喜欢一个人shopping，一个人看电影… 当然也是因为我还单身！对于不熟悉的东西，当然会显得不自信，例如：在988开心车队的主持！有Senior觉得我做的不错，队长也说我不怕面对观众，但还是会反应不过来，有时会怕怕，希望多累计经验了可以赶快恢复自信！一鸣惊人的欲望：这个我倒觉得很正确！我希望成名，我希望受重视，所以我才会进入这一行！但，如果做事低调又如何能成名，如何能一鸣惊人？人生就是充满矛盾！

“金牛座的人通常对吃的要求很高，他们喜欢的是精美可口的食物而并非仅仅是填报肚子，对垃圾食物他们一般是不屑一顾的，所以他们把吃也当作是一种欣赏品位的过程。”

曾经才一步港剧里听过一句话：吃东西是生活，不是生存！相当赞成这句话！如果一个人吃东西只是要饱，那是生存，不是生活！但这并不意味着我只喜欢吃高档食物，路边的小摊有时也可以很美味，重要的是价钱又便宜！（典型金牛座-注重钱！哈哈）但是，我都只把钱花在有品位的东西上而已，有taste的食物以及服装，可不会乱乱买东西的哦！“金牛座对事物的鉴赏能力也是很出名的。” ^^

“金牛座的人有很重的浪漫情怀，感情细腻也很激烈，但由于他们不善于表达，所以总给人一种冷漠无情的错觉，其实金牛座的人对感情是很认真的，也愿意为爱人赴汤蹈火，但是一旦受到伤害，他就回用封锁一切的态度来面对感情。”

对于情感方面则没有什么可以分享的，毕竟曾经只喜欢过一个人，所以也说不出到底我浪不浪漫。不善于表达却是非常准确的！曾经以为女生打电话给我并间接表白，还记得当时的一个小时里面，“不知道” “hmm…” 支支吾吾了整个小时，想起来都好笑！对于我，文字比语言是更好更方便的表达文具！（还说要当DJ，真的是fail了）现代思想，却是古代方式的我，总觉得写信或SMS或MSN比较适合我！（相信我，我还真的曾经写信给人表达感情的）哈哈！

“他们相信爱情，但是对爱情的结果通常抱以悲观的看法。” 我相信爱情吗？好像不会！反而我会比较相信人与人之间的相处互动、互相信任与关怀比爱情来得更加真实！这可不是我乱乱捏造的， 这可是我从我的父母亲那里看到的，如果说这些是爱情的果实，我倒认为这是爱情的导火线！没有这些，哪来的爱情？有人说，爱情是没有得解释的，它是一种feel，有就有，没有就没有，无从解释！这种虚拟又抽象的看法，对我来说太难了！haha! 至于悲观的看法，对于其他人可能不是，对于我却是100%的准确！重点是：如果一份感情会为身边的人带来不快乐，尤其是朋友及家人，我宁愿不要那份感情！有位朋友说：人活着短短几十年，敢敢去，不要怕，最重要是你喜欢！但，如果没有这些人（家人朋友），我是谁？

“他们也不会喜欢跟人粘得腻腻歪歪的，保持距离是他们的处世哲学，虽然这并不代表冷漠。” 对！我很怕跟人家太靠近，尤其是还不熟的时候，再加上本人的神经比较敏感，更加怕人家动我！哈哈！ 同时，我却是十分羡慕当看到其他人可以玩得很热，但我却参不进去 =.= 人就是那么的矛盾！

“金牛座的人直率但不过火，真诚但不是什么话都跟人说，他们很会替他人着想。” 很多东西收着收着不跟大家说，也是为大家着想，不想大家为我烦恼，不想因为我的烦恼而烦恼，开心的事就会跟大家分享，不开心的事自己知道就好了，无谓让大家陪你不开心，把大家拖下水，很爽咩？另外，有时在facebook或MSN没主动找你说话，也是不想打扰你！但如果你来找我谈天，我再忙再夜也会跟你谈！你可以说我很cool，很被动，吊高来卖，但就是不要打扰你！

哈哈，大致上我的性格就是这样，当然还有一些是靠想时写不出的，所以一开始我就说，一个人的性格远远超过他的星座上所描述的性格！而，要认识一个人的真性情，还是需要先了解他的生活作息，不然一切表现出来的性格也可以是刻意表现的，负面的性格早就收到肚子里了，等你相处久了，肚子里的虫就会慢慢渗透出来了，到时就“啊！！！” =)

交友愉快~

Wow, seems like I have not been writing for quite a long time, hope this is not too late for me to do some summary about my past year 2010.

2010 was a very interesting year for me. I met a lot of new people in my life, some are significant, some are moderate, haha. And I joined some very I-won’t-imagine-I joined activities.

December - January: There was a huge drama happened in my Kajang house among some housemates and also new housemates who were wanted to move in. Some were crying, some were sad, some were worried. Complaints and quarrels were all over the month. Luckily everything was solved after that with the tolerance and forgiveness (well, I supposed). However, with this, my 2 years “family” relationship is over, no more 8 people anymore. 

February: It’s CNY, and the most frequent questions I faced from every relatives was: have you found any girlfriend? Haiz….. aunties and uncles, thanks for your concern!!! Sincerely thanks! (I guess this year I will face the same question also)

March, I went to my first ever concert in my life! Super Show 2! It was super marvelous, although I couldn’t understand Korean, but I enjoyed the show! Spending RM 200+ for such a show was a worth. How I wished I could shout louder!

Then, when came to my semester break (May-June), or so-called Summer break, surprisingly I joined SEALnet, an organization which helped out in South East Asia countries in solving some social ills besides building self-ability and leadership skills. Thanks to Han Hsien who introduced me this, and I was proud of his as my leader for this cross-country activity. I knew a lot of great and inspiring peoples through this. And hope we can keep in touch. Guys, if you are reading this, I swear I will visit your countries and visit you!

And of course, I was facing a hard time during that break and I did my first confession. I met someone who are great, caring and super perfect. Too bad the ‘victim’ was already in a relationship, so first round, failed. That was kinda sad and headache for a couple of days, and that was the time when I found out that alcohol(vodka) can be a good companion to me. I think I need to store up some too, in case. Haha.

Then, I entered my third year as a degree student. I was very busy with my faculty thing, included fac night, Radio Midas management, assignments, my thesis, and also the biggest stage performance in my Uni, the Pesta Tanglung (well, you can read all of those in my previous posts). I wasn’t as regret as I was when I first entered after studying in UKM for 2.5 years. I was very grateful that I learnt to be more independent, and get used to loneliness even learnt to have fun in lonely times. 

Time flies, in the blinking of eyes, I finished my 2.5 years of studies and I chose to do my internship in a local Chinese radio station as a member of the Happy Cruiser. After accompanied my siblings in facing their biggest exams ever, I did came down to KL for some shopping during the Xmas festivals. And celebrated my new year while welcoming the year of 2011 in Penang with another gang of friends.

Hope this is not too late to say: Happy New Year!!!!

I learnt to love, to let go, to grow, to try different things in life, to challenge myself for changes, to love myself, love my family members, and to love my friends. I appreciate the existence of everyone of you. You made who I am today! Hope 2011 will be a very different year for me! Wish u have a very happy 2011 too! Cheers~

Continue from part 1 as it was a long story, trying to compile 2 months’ happenings into one is very difficult.

It was 9/10, a day before the performance day, we were having our rehearsal in the hall, on the stage, while everyone is preparing to perform, the first piece, i.e. the opening dance still needed some changes. Thanks to the models!!! Your job was very glamorous, not tiring at all, and what you needed to do was to wear those beautiful gown and put on make-up plus intense hours of hair-do; and because of you guys, we had to change what we had learnt and practiced like hell in the past 2 months? Thank you very much!!! I was damn beh syiok at that time, and even not afraid to tell Emiko lao shi about that. Finally you guys made the changes, feel so sorry for bao xu lao shi, as he was the one who arrange all the come-in-come-out on the stage. 

In the past two years, I wasn’t sure how to take video via my cell phone in the best quality, so regretful that videos taken in the past 2 years were blurred. Luckily this year I found the solution, it is only the setting problem, noob me, and we managed to take videos of all the dance pieces.

Finally, it was 101010, the big day for us. We were gathered at the hall in the morning, we did simple warm-ups and then straight went to the back stage for a full rehearsal. Then lunch, make-up, rest, photos taking session (XD), dinner, then stage praying, and then, the most memorable moment, the crying session. Each teacher shared their opinions and encouragement words, and I cried like hell. This was the third time I was involved in this session, but I think this year I have most stories inside me, and all those memories just came out, memories of how we practiced, how we got tired and injured, how we went out, how we had fun, each and every faces appeared in my head, and this will be the last time we had together…… I am not a sensitive people, I don’t show my tears easily, but I just couldn’t control, arr…… I prepared 3 packets of tissue papers, but it was not enough.><

and then…dang dang dang dang……….the show is on!!!

I never see so many people except during MMP week in this hall, and I could feel the crowd, the applause, the cheers and the shouting even I was waiting at the side, preparing to step on the stage and show them what I got! Damn nervous while waiting, as I told my partner, other’s advices couldn’t calm me down. It was the music and the audiences who calmed me down, and made me really enjoy what I did!!

See, over 3000 audiences!!

Even the back and the upper seats were full!!!

I enjoyed the stage, the lights, the music, the cheers, although I fell down during the opening, but it didn’t stop me from continuing! That was the most fun of all!! ENJOY THE AUDIENCE!!

First dance, the opening. Choreographed by Kah Voon teacher. An energetic, hot, fun, but I guess the most appropriate word to describe this piece is: SYIOK!! My favourite piece among 4!

Then, the second piece, traditional Chinese dance. Choreographed by Feng Ming teacher to show the traditional Wedding, with sweet couples all over!

Third piece was danced by KTSN dancers, with the famous duet and more known as the chair dance. A slow but beautiful piece, that shows the inner emotions of both the lead actor and actress.

Then, the 4th piece, a very emotional, painful, full of miserable and struggling within the lead actress in making decision, synchronise with the music which the woman was screaming as if she was burning alive! No tempo can be calculated, a very difficult piece, that’s what contemporary dance is, right? Choreographed by Kah Voon teacher to torture us and test our ability. Haha. But, this is my most favourite among all piece. XD

5th piece, the MV, danced by KTSN dancers, another slow and graceful piece, choreographed by Siew Jing teacher. 

And then, the finale! Another happening, fun, sweet and young piece which shows the happy ending of the whole story. Choreographed by Feng Ming teacher. I still remembered at first we were told to use ribbon, even guys too, haha, but at the end, the idea was removed.

We practiced for months, we threw our sweat and tears, even bloods, we even emotional when we were blurred, scolded by teachers and other dancers when we made mistake and were too exhausted to even move, bruises all over the joints, even back, skins are broken even bleeding on the wounds, some even injured their knee joints which made them hard to walk. We all physically, emotionally and academically affected, but we made it! We made the audience proud, felt our energy, even though we were not professional dancers, we don’t have basic in dancing, and we managed to show what a professional dancer can do. YES!!! Dancers, I am so proud of you guys!!!

To Jacq, you were a great dancer, you always give ur opinion, I will always remember as you has the most partner here!! ^^ And I really pei fu you as you can manage your time even though ur PhD time were so busy! You always so happy and helpful, thanks for present the Barli ….oops, Bali!! XD Love you jie jie!!! Jom clubbing (we won’t let ur bf know de ^^)

To Edison, yes, you are a super funny guy in this group! I really like you, and even like to bully you! You always give those children reaction! At first I don’t like you as I though you were not serious, always play play and LATE, but as time goes by, I saw your passion showed, and you were being very helpful!! Thank you, and thanks for all the good memory!!! Love you hua zhe lei!!!~ wei, when you wanna go drink, jio me leh!!! I sure go with u de!!~

Next, pro dancer Melody!! Eventually, I knew you joined this for three years, but this is the first time we dance together. I think you were a very good leader, as you always want to dance to the most perfect, and sometimes u get really fed up and pissed up, we all understand how you feel, don’t feel bad for it, we know you want us to perform to the best! Stay sweet sweet with ur Sine!!~ Love you!! (now only I realise I didn’t take very good photo with u, sorry, this is a pre-make-up photo XD)

Li Ying, another pro dancer that joined three years. I remembered someone called me Dragon Ball last year, but I wasn’t paying attention to that guy. Until this year, we know each other deeper. Thanks for your help in designing the wonderful t-shirt! I saw your passion and your heart in PT! And eventually we were so ngam key, and got so many to chat. Really thank you for all the good memory in this 2 months. You have been a very good listener to me, ok la, u can be my hengdai, or sometimes I can be your ji mui also geh!!~ Love you too!!~

Phei Chen, you this super 4838 partner!! Thanks to you, I got so many scandals with you, even non-UKM friend also come and ask me. Haha. You were my best partner!! Always so 38 to cheer me up and gave me encouragement when I was about to down. Darkie, together we bully Edison and Joanne in Facebook, that was the most fun moment, with all the 48 funny comments always made me laugh until stomachache! You gave me a lot of funny memory in this 2 months, and I wanna say thank you and sorry if I were not a good partner to you. You can always call me Hua Pig Bear ^^ Love you!!~

Pei Xia, haha, at first I find it is hard to remember your name, so to make things easier, I always called you ah xia!! haha. You were my temporary partner, I think we did partnering for 1 week only right? I think you were also a funny girl, who always suddenly pop up with funny and shocking statement. Thank you for contribute in my PT memory. Muaksss, love you too!!~

Next, the last forensic girl, Hui Yong, a pretty girl, but always blur blur (but better than Kenny and Joanne la…haha). Although this PT is a hard journey for you, but I hope you really enjoyed it!! Love you!!~

Next, cha long, the most geng guy dancer here. Known you since first year through my ex-room mate, but only until this year we were more familiar with each other. Thanks for coming back this year, and I would say ur existence made all my journey fun!! U were very helpful in transportation and help me to split! Haha. You were also another fun person and a person I could trust to share my things. Thank you!! And I would like to say sorry if any mistakes and I use words when talking to you, I know I did a lot!!! Love you!!~ Hope to see you dance again next year!!~

Chansey, the person I knew longest among all people here. You ar, hmm…always make fun, always sot sot dei, but this journey is definitely boring without you!! You always bring fun to everyone!! This is the first time to dance with you, and now I realise how come you join for three years in dancing d. It is full of fun!! And I really pei fu you that you got so many KP and programmes besides same amount of assignments as me, but you can join this dancing for three years!! Jia you in your thesis la!!~ Or else next year you will join cha long dance d!!~ Love you neh beetch!!~

Joanne, the blurrish, always teh people and wanna share her salive de…haha. Know you since year 1 during Spanish class. But I guess joining PT this year drift us closer. You are someone whom I share a lot of stories with, either singing or dancing. ^^ I saw you have great passion in performing, jia you, I believe someday you can have your dream realised. A lot of crazy photos taken, some were super funny that made me forgot the time, eg. sit also can sleep de photo!! I really laugh until forget the time!! You were also another one who always help me split my leg, thanks for all the good memories we had together!! Love you!!~ muaksss~~

Xiao xiao and ah huang, you guys were always very united and funny de!! Xiao xiao, actually you were very cute, and after make up, wah, even more cute!! Like a barbie doll!!~ Then ah huang, you were always so hardworking in practicing, but stay confident!! Love you gals too!!~ Practice those jazz dance, wanna see you gals dance!!~

Last but not least, Kenny, the most blur among all!! I was so proud of you as you were the only first year junior here, and you made it all the way until the end!! Although you still made mistakes here and there, but you were so hardworking to learn. Keep up the good attitude!! Jia you next year!!~ Love you!!

To mummy/daddy/whatever Joyce, you helped us a lot, and you took really good care of us despite a lot of problems happened to our clothes, thanks to P&S. I know all this while, you suffered a lot, you endured a lot, but you kept all inside, always 任劳任怨的默默付出. Thanks for all the contribution in this 2 months!! Love you!!!!!!! 

To those I invited to watch this show, hong, jun, jw, weng, castle, eric, thank you so much!! Maybe coming all the way to UKM has brought you guys a lot of problem eg skip class, rush assignments and etc, but I hope you guys really enjoy the whole show!! Or else I will feel very guilty! XD

This will be an unforgettable moment for me in UKM!! Love you all dancers!! Got time if wanna do warm-up, gatherings or revised old steps, don’t forget to call me ar!!!! Agree with Joanne, joining PT dancer is the righteous decision ever!!

Once a PT performer, Always a PT performer!!!